Mirage (& Actress)

Mirage

I’m a mirage.
I’m a mirage.
I’m not what I seem to be.
I’m everything I can not be.

From far away,
I can look great.
But don’t get too close,
Or your vision will fade.
Where you saw perfectness,
Faults will appear.
Where you saw truth,
Lies become clear.
Where you saw steadiness,
You can now see fear.
It’s all just an illusion,
Nothing is real.

For, I’m a mirage.
I’m a mirage.
I’m not what I seem to be.
I’m everything I can not be.

~smj
 1982

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 – I write the “mirage” poem a long time ago (1982)… when I was just a young teenage girl.   I actually dreamt part of it… I dreamt I was lost… and wandered thru some bar/lounge… and there was some cheesy singer singing the chorus “I’m a mirage… I’m a mirage”.  I thought it was a real song at first..  then, realized it was a dream, and wrote the rest to go with it. 

I think I felt like this big time when I was a teen… and unfortunately, it stuck with me for a while… I actually had a few poems along these same lines from those teen years…  Here’s a very similar one called “The Actress”: 

“The Actress”

She is a mystery,
Everyone thinks they have solved,
But they can not see
Past her disguise.

She covers with masks,
That she changes at will,
She makes it her task,
To act with great skill.

Who she is with,
Determines her role,
It’s her way to live,
Putting on a big show.

With all of her costumes,
None could see through.
They all had their views,
But none were the truth.

With all of her acting,
She has lost herself.
What is her true personality?
She can’t even tell.

~ smj
1982

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12 Comments to “Mirage (& Actress)”

  1. I wish I really knew that girl back then because with me you could have found out who the real you was. You could have helped me stay the me i wanted to be.

    • Thanks, Mr. I – & don’t forget I coulda been in the band! ;) Yes.. life would have certainly been different, eh?
      “all things happen for a reason” though, right?

  2. Include me also in your band :)
    These lines by Oriah mountain just came to my mind after reading your words, am still figuring out why!
    “Why am I so infrequently the person I
    really want to be?”

  3. Hey Sam, just remembered one more line….
    felt like to share with you….
    “Why do we so infrequently want to be the people we really are?”

    • hello purplepuppet –
      good questions… and good lines… I’m not familiar with Oriah Mountain – but, perhaps I should be? Many of my poems, especially older ones, visit this topic… and deal with putting on a front basically. Something I struggles with for many years – and sometimes still do. I’ve learned it’s a common theme for many of us – and always a good habit to break… if possible…. Life is so much better when we can feel comfortable in our own skin…. flaws and all…

  4. I like these, thanks for the link to them, Sam! I didn’t write half as well in my teens.
    :)

  5. This is awesome…LOVE the part about the dream. I get so emotional when I dig through the stacks of poems and things from when I was that young, and yours here has affected me in the same way…

    • Judith, wow… you reeeeeally dug back. =) Yes… these are a couple of my early poem/song lyric attempts. The funny thing is, I can still picture this dream… I can still hear the guy singing the chorus… and he wasn’t real impressive… but, the words still are to me. Thank you again… do you have any of your old stuff posted? I need to dig around your place more… =)

  6. A mirage… It’s a great metaphor isn’t it :D Thanks for dropping in on my page! This is awesome

    • Yes – it is. I noticed, in your poem, you wrote as the other person being the mirage, where in mine, it was first person… even though, I originally dreamed a man singing it… At any rate – thanks for the read. =)

      • It’s interesting to see someone else’s take on the idea of a mirage :D Dreams are amazing. I always find so much inspiration from them in my writing… it’s good to know that others do too!

  7. smiles … I think I am going to enjoy time traveling through your blog.

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