just rambling….

The last couple days I have been feeling like writing, and wondering what topic I should attempt to tackle.  What point did I want to try to make?  What question did I want to ask?  What wonders did I want to contemplate? Well?  I don’t know.  I got nothing.  Nada. Zip.

Actually, that’s not true.  I really have lots and lots going on in my head… too much…  so much, that it’s hard to pick one thing to concentrate on.  So, I decided that I just wouldn’t bother trying to.  Instead I will just start to chronicle the “here and now” of what’s happening…  just start rambling and see where the hell I wind up. 

I noticed I did that all the time when I was a teenager.  I have my old diary from back then and I pulled it out and was briefing through it this weekend a little.  It’s actually quite amusing (in a painful, embarrassing, teen-angst, “oh why did I do that?!”, kind of way!).  I noticed that I would just sort of write about exactly whatever the hell happened that day, or that week… and somewhere in the mix, my feelings and thoughts about things would wind their way in to the pages.  Often, my truest thoughts seemed to wind up in the parenthesis…  as a side note of sorts.  Usually sarcastic… but, also honest.  

For example….  I read a page in my diary from when I was 15 years old, where I wrote that I had gone with my church teen youth group to a “Christian Skate Night” at the local roller skating hang out. 

I wrote, and I quote,

 “they played all slow Christian music. (barfomatic!)”. 

Ha!  Obviously, the “barfomatic” comment conveyed my real thoughts on the subject.  I distinctly remember not liking hardly anything church related when I was 15 years old – and, I was into rock music (both of which I can say are feelings that stuck with me). 

However, I do NOT remember going through a valley-girl stage.  ???
 “barfomatic”???   LOL  wtf??  Who the hell says that?  Or even USE to say that?  I mean, I know it was the 80’s…  but, still…  I don’t remember ever saying that ?! 

It must have been one of those things I blocked from my memory along with…  uh…?   with….  ??…  yeah… well… I guess I did a good job blocking stuff!  =)  

Anyway, I thought I should just start writing a little about what’s going on… instead of trying so hard to write anything about anything….  Does any of this make sense?   If not.. feel free to ignore me ! ;)


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