Archive for December, 2010

December 24, 2010

Merry Stressmas and “The True Meaning of Christmas”…

Merry Stressmas to all…  and to all a good weekend & year!  Things are going full speed ahead around here…  gearing up towards the big night tonight, and tomorrow.  I am *almost* ready…  but, still lots to do today.

I have been feeling very reflective lately.  I keep comparing where I am this year, to where I was last year…  or 2 years ago…  or 5 years ago… 10… 20…  etc…  Wish I had some down time to write more now, but, no time today.  I’m sorta looking forward to Sunday… and definitely looking forward to next week when I took off time from work.  Hopefully I’ll have time to catch up more and write more then.  Until “then”, I hope anyone reading this is doing well…   staying warm..  and, that 2011 brings joy and happiness to you!  I’d also like to thank any of my blog friends (you know who you are) for “listening” and your encouragement.  Much appreciated.  =)

And now, I thought I’d re-post something I wrote in a different blog a few years back….   it still applies…. =)

The “True” Meaning of Christmas
December 5, 2007 — samanthamj

The other day, I heard a Christian get very upset about people who say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”. He actually went into a bit of a rant about it, and how he is sure to tell folks back, “No, Merry CHRISTmas!” (in a very sarcastic sneer of a voice), when this happens. After all, that’s what Christmas is about, right? Pissing people off and getting pissed off, that is, right? ?!? Come on! Makes ya afraid to wish people well… they might get themselves in a tizzy over it. Sheesh…

Ya know? Like most kids I loved Christmas as a child. I have fond memories of moments with both my mother and my father – both individually and as a family. We weren’t the model family by any means…  my parents did not get along, at all – but, I only

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December 16, 2010

The way it is

You think it
say it
believe it
make it real and true
for you.
At least, for you
     – it’s true.

Excuse me if

I hear it
doubt it
question it
dismiss it as untrue
for me
I’m just saying, for me
     – it’s bullshit

I’d believe it
          if I could
I’d trust it
          as far as I can
                    throw it
Neither of us
can help it

No excuses for it

Just the way   it    is

~ smj

December 16, 2010


 can you tell me please
what it is that I desire ?
I just want to know


December 16, 2010

And, what do YOU want for Christmas, little boy?

He said he doesn’t want anything for Christmas this year…  my son, that is.   I guess, that means he’s a pretty lucky kid, right?  We should all be so lucky… to not really want for anything, right?

It’s not like he has “everything”.  He doesn’t.  Not by a long-shot.  In today’s economy, our family is having financial struggles along with many others.  Which made me wonder if my son was just reluctant to ask for anything?  Maybe he thought we simply couldn’t afford it?   It was just last year that he became aware that Santa is on the same budget as Mommy & Daddy, and this is the first year that he hasn’t really asked for any big-ticket items.  Coincidence?  Hmmm??  I sure hope so. 

I would feel terrible if he wasn’t asking for things simply because he thought we couldn’t afford them… even if that very well might be the case.  Maybe there are things he wants, but

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December 15, 2010

and yet… more guilt…

In a past life…  (okay, a past blog) I wrote quite frequently about guilt….  and feeling guilty…  often, and usually, for no real good reasons. Well, I’m sure I absolutely DO have a few good reasons…  but, #1) who doesn’t?  then again, what constitutes a “good reason” is also very debatable…  and #2) eventually, I discovered that this “guilt” thing was something that was ingrained in me… taught to me at a very early age.  I was made to feel responsible for not only myself, but all kinds of other things that really shouldn’t have been, and ultimately could not have been, and were NOT my responsibilities…  but, I believed they were.

I then carried that with me into adulthood, and developed a nasty habit of personalizing things.   Which was, of course, my fault.   I’m not trying to just blame my parents

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