What is wrong with me?

Sometimes…  I find myself asking myself…   “what is wrong with me?”…

It’s frustrating, really.  To know something is wrong… but, not really know what.  I can’t put my finger on it.  Not sure if it’s just a mood?  or a (hopefully) passing phase?  Am I going through some sort of funk?  depression?  Is it physical?  Mental? Financial?  Lord knows there’s some real concerns going down around me… but, is that all it is?  Or am I wallowing in my own idiosyncracies? 

Maybe, it’s just the way it is.  Maybe, it’s  “normal“?  (don’t get me started on the whole “normal” thing).  But, if it is “normal”… what does that mean?  “Normal” for me to feel this way?  Or “normal” for everyone?  Ugh.  Wait.  I said I wasn’t going to go there…  *sigh*

Sure, I can whine about whatever – throw an out an out temper-tantrum and bawl my eyes out perhaps.  I could spout off a list of grievances.  I could easily go off on a tangent about some specific pet peeve of mine if I wanted to.  I could probably rant on about  a multitude of miscellaneous BS that is annoying as hell.  Some of it, very legitimate things to rant about, most likely.  But, I won’t.  (you’re welcome).  Because, I don’t think it would help.  I know much of it doesn’t even really matter.  It seems that the things that are easy to bitch about – usually aren’t the things worth bitching about.  Or maybe, that’s just how I am.  I don’t know. 

I DO know that I don’t want to be a negative person.  I hate being miserable and I’m not good at it (thankfully).   I am usually the one to make everyone else laugh, and I like it that way.  But I want more than that.  I want to be truly happy myself.  I know how I don’t want to be… and feeling like this –  like, there’s something wrong with me and I don’t know what,  is right up there on my “I don’t want to feel like this” list.   I know how I DO want to feel, and this ain’t it.  I also know it’s up to me to feel, and be, however I want to be. 

What I don’t know…
is what     
the hell   
is WRONG with ME?

I find myself asking myself this, over and over…  and, I don’t have any easy answers.  Soooooooo, I did what any intelligent. computer-literate. person does these days when they have a good question (or a bad one).  I asked Google. 

You got it, I Googled, “what’s wrong with me”, and I found:

  • 147,000,000  results when I searched the general WWW for “what’s wrong with me”… 
  • 167,000,000 results when I searched just “images” 
    (not sure how that works… ?? but that is what it said.)
  • 3,050,000 results when I searched just “blogs”
  •  3,130,000 results when I searched just “books”
  • About 931,000 results when I searched just “YouTube”

Huh.  Interesting.  I didn’t bother to read any of the results.  Ok, ok… so, I browsed through some of the images.  There were quite the variety.  I sorta liked this one  
                                   ————————–>:
But, it didn’t really make me feel any better.  

 However, somehow, just knowing there were many other people out there who all wondered what was wrong with themselves was a little comforting… granted, in a sick sorta way, but still…   comforting, right?

Then, for the hell of it, I searched for, “what is wrong with YOU”…

and I found “190,000,000 results” in the general www results. 

!? 190,000,000 ?!

I guess, ultimately, we are all still more worried about what the heck is wrong with the next guy, than we are concerned with ourselves. 

Perhaps, THAT is the problem…  ??  

At least, according to Google….

~ smj

13 Responses to “What is wrong with me?”

  1. Nothing is wrong with ‘you’. You’re ‘you’.
    “I know normal is a cycle on the washing machine.” Nat Cox, musician

    Lately though it’s been tough to be ‘positive’ for a variety of reasons. But that doesn’t mean there’s anything ‘wrong’ with you.

  2. lol. google has all the answers.
    I enjoyed reading this

  3. positive is for batteries. if i wanted to be an energizer bunny i’d stick a flashlight up my……

    well, never mind.

    but i bet the thought of that made you smile.

  4. Sometimes that “what is wrong with me” feeling means that you’re slightly off your center. That you need to regain your balance point before you can do more interesting things.

    And sometimes it means that you are fine, but that you’re ready to take the next step in your journey of growth and transformation. At that point, the “ants in your pants” feeling means it’s time to get up and learn something, do something, take the next step. Because you’ve completed what you’re doing now

    I find having a Life Mission helps a lot to figure out what I need to be doing next. If you’re interested in that, I’ve got some posts on finding your life mission on my blog

    Catherine
    Foresight

  5. Catherine, interesting…. can it be a bit of both? lol
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts… it makes sense, really. I was just checking out your blog’s latest (Testing…Testing…Are You On the Right Route?)… such good timing for me. I’ll be reading more… and, as always appreciate your visit here. Take care.

    • Samantha
      You may certainly have all of the reasons for obstacles on the road to your dreams. Heavens knows I have ;-)

      I’m glad that my latest post arrived in good time for you. I try to be of service and when I can put the info in folks’ way that they need to move towards their dreams, I do the happy fairy godmother dance (dancing now)

      Think it’s important to realize that deciding that our dream will come in a specific way is sometimes right on, but sometimes blocks us from getting what we really wanted after all.

      Hope your dreams are in your sights

      Catherine
      Foresight

      • Catherine… I love your fairy godmother dance. =)
        I think, for me, it’s more a matter of deciding on a dream… I have always tended to just take whatever came along and make the best of it, rather than really set my sights on something and go for it….
        Thanks again for your wisdom and lovely dancing. =)

        • Hi Samantha
          Glad that you like my fairy godmothe dance. It’s a variation on the Snoopy dance, and the more folks will dance with me, the better it gets (dances a little now, just because)
          Decide on a dream? that’s good, but keep in mind that you’re not limited to one – you’re entitled to all the dreams your heart will hold!
          If you want to try and figure out what are your dreams,a s opposed to what folks tell you that you should dream of, having a Life Mission can help. I’ve got a lot of posts on ways to find out your Life Mission on my blog at http://www.ForesightYourCtPsychic.wordpress.com if that is of interest.
          And you may find that you’re a multiple dreams kinda person. If so, a really good book is “Refuse to Chose” by Barbara Sher (all of her books on finding your bliss and living it are primo, but this is for those of us with multiple dreams)
          welcome to the adventure :-)
          Catherine
          Foresight

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