Tuesdays Past and Present….

(Written last Tuesday, for a “writing exercise”… where we were to think about where, exactly, we were one year ago… difference, similarities… just write, without thinking, no stopping til done.  This is what I came up with: )

On a Tuesday morning in March, one year ago from today, I would have been working.  Instead of sitting in this poetry class, writing this, I would have been sitting at my desk in my office.  The same office where I still work, just not on Tuesday mornings.    Instead of gathering my homework, and book of poems by Cavafy, as I did this morning, I would rather have been gathering up whatever work I had brought home  and rushing off to the office.  I would have driven the same expressway, and parked in the same parking lot as I did this morning.  However, once parked, I would have began walking in a different direction and going towards the office where I work, rather than making my way to the nearby Campus where I walked to today.

I still would have, most likely, been looking up.  Noticing the sky, blue or gray.  I can’t recall today what exact color it was last year, but, I’m sure it was some variation of blue or gray, and I would have noticed that day.  Today, it was a pure and perfect sky-blue color, with hardly a cloud in it.  Seems there’s always some clouds, though, and I was probably still wondering if the clouds would bring rain, or perhaps, more snow.  Hoping for the rain.  Looking for geese, and robins, buds on trees, and signs of spring.  Trying to take in all of the fresh air, cold as it may have been,  and the sounds of nature before I found myself trapped inside. My ass firmly glued to my chair…   my eyes locked onto my computer screen and the myriad of emails and demands of others.

It’s different today.  A different feel all together on Tuesday mornings this year when I’m walking through the Campus, making my way towards another poetry class. My walk in is more leisurely as I take in the sights and sounds, converting each image into a line of poetry in my mind.  I see poetry everywhere these days.   As I walk towards my destination today, I walked without a sense of obligation.  Once there, I slipped  into a room where words and conversations flow with ease…  and I want to experience them all.

If I could put today side by side with the Tuesday of 2010, it might seem on the surface that not much had changed.  Leaving the same house. My car parked in the same lot.  Same coat.  Same old me, with the same hair whipping around my head as I walk…   still looking up.  But, if you were to look really closely, close enough that you could see the look in my eyes and the calm on my face… close enough that you could read the thoughts in my head – then, you would know the vast difference.

This year…   today…  now…   I’ve taken a new lease on life and am heading in directions of my own heart, not just following whatever paths and pulls that come from the heart and desires of others.  At least, not on Tuesday mornings…  and, I’m doing it all while still looking up.

~ smj

Tuesday Afternoon, by The Moody Blues

10 Comments to “Tuesdays Past and Present….”

  1. Looking up–that’s great because so few people do look up.
    I like how you’ve contrasted all the phyisal things being the same but the really important things that are “invisible” and intangible being so different.
    Wind whipped hair versus following your heart—-good piece.

    • Hi 47WB =). Yes – looking up is a long-standing habit of mine. I can’t walk outside at night, without finding the dippers…. and noticing the moon or lack there-of on cloudy nights. Day time, it’s the birds, trees, sun, and sky itself that holds my attention. Sometimes, I find it hard to pay attention to where I’m walking.. or the things going on on the ground. lol

  2. I love being with my family and I really enjoy reading your blog very much. Thanks for sharing this excellent job. Feel free to stop by our Easy Lifestyle website anytime.

    A March Madness Poem

  3. i have given a lot of thought to what lays ahead “a year from now”,
    and too many years have gone by where I should be writing this same exercise…
    with similar thoughts
    and similar classes being taken

    the time to stop waiting is nearly here.

    thank you for sharing this one “in particular”!

    • Glad you liked this. And, yes… those years are slippery, aren’t they? they go by faster and faster with age…. I had thought about taking classes and doing some changes for years before I did as well. And, this is only one little class… still, it’s a start…. and it feels good. I highly recommend finding your start. =)

  4. Very cool to be reading this, smj! :)

  5. Yes, the years slip away like pearls off a broken necklace. Your words wistful and strike a chord in many a heart.

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