Help! Help! I’m being repressed!

Well, I’ve done it again.  Let life take over.  Which sounds pretty silly when I type it out loud.  “let life take over“.  ??   As if my life isn’t my own to manage and has somehow kidnapped me or is keeping me down…  ?  (Help Help!  I’m being repressed!)  

But, you know what I mean, right?  It feels like that sometimes… too often, actually…  Like “life” is just on autopilot and I’m just a passenger on board, watching it all happen…  along for the ride… not sure where we’re going or what the plan is… just sorta sitting there, smiling absently, looking out the window… trying to enjoy the scenery and the ride… and hoping we don’t crash and burn at any given moment…

So, what is it?  What is the reason THIS time that I have let my own interests and goals take the back seat again?   Like, why haven’t I been writing?  Reading?  I took a poetry class,  loved it (got a 98 btw) – but since it ended, I haven’t been writing or reading anything again.   It seems like there’s never time.  I feel like my life just gets taken over by demands and schedules…  work  and obligations…  kids.  Yeah…  kids…  it must be those darn kids!   Whose bright idea was it to have them anyway???   Oh yeah..  mine…    ;)

Now, don’t anyone go calling the Parent Police on me.    Of course I love my kids….  and I love going to their activities…  and I know that before I know it, they’ll be all grown up…  and it IS the end of the school year, so there’s just a lot going on…  and that IS part of being a parent.  I get that. I love that.   And, I have been doing SOME fun non-kid related stuff when I/we can.. . played some pool – made it to the playoffs with hubby and our team, got to a concert the other night, family get-togethers…

Some really GOOD stuff is going on and I know I’m fortunate.  So, part of me feels like I shouldn’t be complaining…   and, maybe I shouldn’t be…  and, I’m not trying to.  Am I really complaining anyway??   I think, maybe it’s more like whining with a lot of rambling .   In all actuality I think that mostly, I’m just a little afraid.   Afraid of completely losing myself… 
again…. 

When I started writing just now, I had no idea what to write…  I  just felt like I needed to write anything…  jump back in and  try to get a freakin grip…  and so, here I am.  I do want to apologize to anyone who actually reads this blog and whom I might have not responded to or anything lately.  Sorry guys.   

4 Comments to “Help! Help! I’m being repressed!”

  1. LOL–more like pleasantly distracted. LOL. Playing pool with your hubby. Monty Python galore. Sounds more like a tad of guilt for not playing in blogland. Well, why should you if the world outside of blogland is more interesting? Hmm? Have fun before the world ends!

  2. In betwixt your whambling (whining with a lot of rambling), thank you for, returning to visit with us peasants, finding a great video! and writing a modestly acceptable apology for going out and having a life!

    your forgiven! ;-)

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