Always Never

You said you stayed because you cared
about vows, and how to leave would be a sin.
Still, you were always never there

when all you craved lived in your prayers
for him, our lives, to be born again.
You said you stayed because you cared.At least we never wondered where
we stood, steady on the brink of sink or swim
while you were always never there.

And, through your lens we learned to stare
into blackened worlds that kept you pinned,
but, you said, you stayed because you cared

enough to save us (not you) from despair
and to bury beauty beneath our skin.
No, you were always never there

for us, for me, except for when I dared
conceive just where you may have been
when you said you stayed because you cared.
Oh, poor mother, who was always never there.


Because of You, Kelly Clarkson


*Notes: This was my first attempt to write a Villanelle… (see: An assignment from a poetry class (also a first). I obviously need more practice.

10 Comments to “Always Never”

  1. The last line caught me off guard…I had expected someone else…well crafted poem.

    • Charles… Thanks for the read and input, as ever. =) I’m not sure if it caught you off guard in a good way? or bad way? I debated on whether to throw the word “mother” in there at all, or not…

  2. brilliant, glad you included the word worked very well for me xxx

  3. there are so many things you write which I relate to… it’s as if we mirrored each other at some points in some times… it’s weird… as for this piece… including the word mother makes it real, it takes it from the general betrayal and brings it to the specific… it makes it that much stronger when one can relate, as I have, to this specific scenario.

    I use this style on occasion…. I try to confuse the readers, when in fact mainly I am writing of my own personal shortcomings, either way, there are times when games won’t help the cause

    • enreal… *s*… I know, right? what is up with that? I wonder, if we really do have that similiar backgrounds/experiences? or if we simply express somewhat similiar things in a very similiar/familiar way? Either way, I also feel this connection with you because of you write… and, can tell you “get” me better than most as well. I’ve kind of come to think of you as a soul sister of sorts… and I’m glad to have “met” (found?) you on this big blog-world we share…
      Take care, friend.

  4. Beautiful poem. I totally understand why you picked “Because Of You” which is such a great song by the way. (I’m a huuuuuge fan of Kelly Clarkson. Last week I bought “Stronger” and it’s a really good album if you love her songs too).

    • thank you. yes… I love that song… even though, it practically tears my heart out. and Kelly can sing! That’s for sure! The version she does with Reba isn’t bad either (Reba can also sing!), but, I like the version with just Kelly better… it makes more sense… at least to me. Will have to check out “stronger”… so, thanks for the reccomendation! =)

  5. You make the contradiction work quite beautifully…

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