Missing the old man…

I wonder what he’d have to say, if he could see me now?

He would hate to see me this way…  limping around… using a crutch.  He knew all too well about crutches, wheel chairs, and leg pain…  way more than I, or most people, ever could .   After everything he went through  what I’m going through is nothing… but, I know he wouldn’t say so… or even think so.   I bet he’d be wincing every time I did – taking on my pain… taking it away if he could.  I can picture him stiffening up his lower lip and trying to act all tough…  trying to conceal how much it bothered him – but, I would know anyway…  because I could read him like a book.  It was a mutual skill we had going on.   He’d be mad at the doctors and the world along with me…  secretly question once more a god that neither of us really believes in.  He’d want to go punch someone “right in the nose”.  But then he’d make jokes to cheer me up and remind me of all the good things I have going on in my life.  Like, how lucky I am to have all the support that I do have from my family and friends.  He’d remind me how especially great my boys are…  and how I need to do what I have to do to take care of them too…  and, he’d tell me again what a good guy my husband is…  how hard he works… (even harder lately, which is hard to imagine but true ) to take care of me and our family.  And, as usual, he’d be right.

Man, I miss him.  So much…
but I guess I don’t really have to wonder what he’d say after all…

~smj


Old Man, Neil Young

6 Comments to “Missing the old man…”

  1. Ahh Neil Young–young.
    Lucky you.

  2. Strange…I think of that song a lot these days…sighs.

    • the funny thing is that he didn’t write the song about his own dad… but of course, it makes us think of our own fathers… and after that, I think the meaning is so different for most of us…

  3. A touching write, love the song…yes it does bring memories of my dad to mind, good ones. Thank you.

  4. I am left with a certain melancholia … I know… and this song is the same… I know…

    I miss you

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