Almost Home

I’ve almost forgotten
what it feels like to walk
naturally sure and steady
without the constant click, click, click
of a cane that beats in time to my pace
accompanying every other annoying step
making me feel so old and less than
the woman, mother, person I once was.

I’ve almost forgotten
what it feels like to walk
without pain, with just my dog
and sometimes the moon following along
as we travel to the churchyard and back,
around the block, or to and through
our favorite woods, where the creek
is undoubtedly running high today.

The woods…
I’ve almost forgotten
what it feels like to walk
through their trees, with quiet sounds
that drown out the chaos, while earthy aromas
rise up from dirt paths that give way
to my footsteps, with or without leaves
shuffling or crunching along with us
as we move through our seasons.

I’ve almost forgotten
what it feels like to do
so many things I once loved,
but never really knew how much.
Like, how it felt to just be
the me that I once was – playful, strong, so full
of confidence and myself.  Maybe too full
yet still, underrated.

I’ve almost forgotten, almost.
And, what about you?
What do you see when you look
at me?  I know you miss me too, but
have you also almost forgotten? Do you remember
me at all? Can you even faintly feel the spring breeze
that smells like the woods, and calls to me by name?
It’s whispering to us, howling to us,
“don’t give up, you’re almost home”.

~ smj

“In every frame upon our wall lies a face that’s seen it all
Through up’s and down’s and then more down’s
We helped each other off of the ground
No one knows what we’ve been through
Making it, ain’t making it without you

Maybe I’m not but you’re all I got left to believe in
Don’t give up on me, I’m about to come alive
And I know that it’s been hard and it’s been a long time coming
Don’t give up on me, I’m about to come alive”

I’m About to Come Alive, by Train

12 Comments to “Almost Home”

  1. This poem speaks as if you have been through a storm… I hope as you walk more steps you strength will also grow stronger.. For we each Grow.. especially as we climb over our obstacles… sending you warm healing thoughts to accompany you upon your journey. Sue

    • Thank you, Sue. It’s funny… that’s exactly what I’m doing… hoping I’ll grow stronger the more I walk, the more steps I take. Literally. You see, I just had a hip replacement. This was my third surgery (and what I hope will be my last for a very long time!) in the past three years. The other two were quite different, but still related… and it’s been a long couple years.. where I’ve been limping around with a crutch or cane, if at all. So yeah, one step at a time… at least this time I feel like I am getting better. :-)

  2. Since I went through a hip replacement…I was fairly certain of what you were talking about…I had many of the same feelings…my PT didn’t believe me when I said what I wanted to do one day soon…but I’m back on my mountain bike….take good care.

    • Glad to hear you’re back on the bike and doing well. I am getting there. I had some other issues that lead up to this… what should have been a very minor surgery in 2012 turned into a nightmare and so, it’s been a bit complicated…. but, I’ve certainly learned a lot… and I’m getting there. =)

  3. Amazing.. the way you write. This was a wonderful read, very humbling.. I dunno why it made me remember “Wuthering Heights”, and all the nostalgia from the time I read the work. Very, very, very good writing. But you know you are my favourite poet.
    You can’t know how nice it feels to have you over at my blog; just made my day!
    By the grace of God, all is well with me and mine..! Havent blogged for a long time now, as I’ve been consumed by the creative fervour of yet another wonderful artform! I’ll soon make an announcement, and hope you will like it!

    • Hi DL. Nice to see you here, as well and I’m so glad you liked this one. Your favourite? wow. I’m truly honored. And, am also glad to know your still being creative – even if not in poetry blogs. Looking forward to your announcement. =) Take care, friend.

  4. Hi. Almost–but you haven’t, have you.
    Great poem about holding on to a sense of self which is on journey to return stronger and fuller than before the trauma.

    So glad you dropped by my blogcasa. :)

  5. this was very good… glad your journey allows you to walk by here once in awhile….is nice to see you and yep…you look good….

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