Thought Wrong

I thought I was moving on
from my past, from my problems,
from the person I no longer wanted
to be.

I thought I was moving up,
like the Jefferson’s – to the top,
to a deluxe, newly evolved version
of me.

I thought I had moved past
the worst of it.  That I had paid
my dues and was ready to finally
be free.

“Don’t think”, she said.
“You’re not good at it”, she said.
I laughed, but, I thought she was right.
Maybe.

Maybe not.  Does it really matter
what she said, he said, or what I think?
Like John sang, “life is what happens when
we’re busy

making other plans”.   But, I can’t think
that I thought wrong.  I won’t stop thinking,
just yet, because maybe I wasn’t wrong, just delayed?
Maybe

I was growing weaker and stronger
simultaneously, so that my thoughts and words
could be drowned out by my overdue actions shouting
reality.

 

~ smj

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” Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess we’ll both just have to be patient
‘Cause it’s a long way to go
A hard row to hoe
Yes, it’s a long way to go
But in the meantime
Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”

~ Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) – John Lennon

Tags: actions, change, coping, growth, healing, hope, Lennon, life, motivation, plans, poetry, thoughts