No Poems Today… Just Ramblings.

I wanted to write a poem.  Get out some of these feelings that I know are building up inside of me.  That is what happens when I don’t write for a long time.  And, I should know, because I routinely go through long periods of time, where I let this happen.  I don’t write… I don’t process or deal with things.  And, here I am again.

I looked at some drafts of poems that I had started, and thought they might be a good place to start…  but, it’s been too long.  They no longer make sense to me.  So,  I decided I would write a brand new poem.  But, I just stared at the screen.  It’s been too long, and I don’t know where to start.  So much has been happening in my life.  Problems with my own health, yet again. But, those things don’t seem all that major anymore considering all that is happening around me to those I care about and love. Yet, nothing that I seem to be able to put into a poem.  Nothing that wants to see the light of day,  or that I can use to make something beautiful, or to just try to make any sense.  Not yet.

Which, really, is quite fitting now that I think about it.  Because not much is making sense.  How do you make sense of your 20 year old nephew’s death from an accidental drug over-dose?  You don’t.  How do you help those you love, your brother and your sister-in-law/best friend,  get over the loss of their youngest child, and their only son?  You don’t.  Some things you just can’t get over.  I know this.  So, I’ve been trying my best just to help them cope…  but, I am not even sure how to do that.

I have always been a good empathizer.  Is that a word?  My spell-checker says “no”, but,

As If

They offered Them
salvation.
Spoke of sins
They never knew of.
Told stories
of forgiveness.
Sang songs
of peace and love.
Presented promises
of happiness,
comfort,
eternal life.
Then, They sent Them
strait to Hell.

As if that was
Their call.

~ smj

I burn, by The Toadies

Better Not To Believe

You think I should believe in something?
Well I do,
I do believe.
I believe sometimes it’s better,
Better not to believe.

Well, here comes another fairytale,
With another happy ending.
And there goes another broken heart,
Shattered dreams in need of mending.
I see your busy once again, busy kissing frogs.
Looking for your Mr. Right somewhere up in the clouds.
And just when you think you’ve found your prince,
And you’re right where you belong,
You look around, what have you found? 

Have Faith and Believe

When life’s hard,
Way too hard to go on,
Just look for me – I’m all around.
Just waiting for you,
Waiting for you to need me.
I’ll pick you up, suck you in, help you to see,
That I am what you really need.

Just walk away.
Come take my hand,
I’ll lead you to the promise land.
Don’t look back.
Just keep your eyes on me.
I’ll make you as close to happy as you can be,
All you have to do is have faith and believe.

You have to believe to have faith.
You have to have faith to believe.
It’s not what you think you know,
It’s all about what you don’t want to feel.

Don’t think.
Don’t think.
Don’t think about it.
Don’t think about a thing.
Don’t worry.
Don’t cry.
Don’t be afraid.
Don’t feel a single thing.

No need to worry,
No need to cry,
Nobody gets hurt and nobody dies.
Don’t you see?
Fantasy can become your reality.
It’s not about the truth anyway,
It’s only about what you need.

You have to believe to have faith.
You have to have faith to believe.
It’s not about who I really am,
It’s all about who you want me to be.

Don’t think.
Don’t think.
Don’t think about it.
Don’t think about a thing.
Don’t worry.
Don’t cry.
Don’t be afraid.
Don’t feel a single thing.

~~

Something to Believe…

I believe in the Golden Rule,
and that two wrongs don’t make a right.
That for some beliefs, and those we love,
we need to take a stand and fight.

I believe in right and wrong,
Shining through the thick gray steel,
not since a book has told me so,
but from what I learn and feel.

I believe I’ve much to learn,
and that it’s wise to question truth.
For he who claims to know it all,
is surely King of Fools.

I believe in Mother Nature,
her beauty and her power.
Miraculous. Mysterious.
Indiscriminate mix of showers.

I believe that life is good,
an uphill climb each day,
where life’s rewards aren’t found up top,
but in the journey along the way.

I believe I’ll wake in the morn,
as I’ve done thus far til now.
and yet I know there comes a time,
when I’ll have no more tomorrows.

Still, I believe that life goes on,
even though each life must end.
Not on golden streets of heaven,
but through our family and friends.

In loved ones hearts and memories fair,
and in ways words can’t describe.
Each action and deed, a ripple effect,
flowing generations and continents wide.

So, some day when I’m all but gone,
If you want me, look around.
You need only search as far as my son,
in his eyes  – my soul is found.

For there I’ve poured it with my heart,
and scattered many seeds,
with hopes that love will grow and spread,
leaving something to believe…

~ smj