Posts tagged ‘childhood’

December 1, 2016


Orange record player
First class ticket out of Dodge
“Puppy Love” express


I vaguely remember, the time when I was just little… and my older brother taught me how to write my name.

I remember being very proud of myself.  My brother seemed proud of me too.  And he told me that we could now play a game… a great, fun, NEW game.  I eagerly and happily awaited his instructions.  I would do just about anything my older brother told me to do when I was little.  Something I grew out of, thankfully, but not before learning some lessons the hard way.  This was going to be one of those lessons.

I remember my brother giving me an orange crayon… and he said, “I’m going to go out of your room and count to 100.  When I come back in, anything that does not have your name on it – is mine.”

You would think that

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November 1, 2011

Always Never

You said you stayed because you cared
about vows, and how to leave would be a sin.
Still, you were always never there

when all you craved lived in your prayers
for him, our lives, to be born again.
You said you stayed because you cared.

At least we never wondered where
we stood, steady on the brink of sink or swim
while you were always never there.

And, through your lens we learned to stare
into blackened worlds that kept you pinned,
but, you said, you stayed because you cared

enough to save us (not you) from despair
and to bury beauty beneath our skin.
No, you were always never there

for us, for me, except for when I dared
conceive just where you may have been
when you said you stayed because you cared.
Oh, poor mother, who was always never there.


Beacuse of You, Kelly Clarkson

October 19, 2011

Swimming Lessons

My father told me once, and I believed him,
that if I would just open my eyes underwater
one time, just defy instinct and force my lids apart,
allowing salty tears to connect with chlorinated waters
just once, that I would never want to shut them again.
His eyes smiled as he spoke of enchanting light patterns
that are burned deep into cool waves by the summer sun,
and how they dance and glide along the bottom of our pool,
visible only to those brave souls who dare to see
in depth. He promised it wouldn’t even sting.
He was right, of course. He was always right.

Like, the time he told me I could swim, “just fine”

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September 11, 2011

Moment of Silence

The moment of silence,
of remembrance and reverence,
hung thick in the air,
out of place.
An invited intruder
that compels us
to stop

and listen –  for once.

The stillness moves us,
allows memories to flood
into hearts and eyes
so that we can almost see
with profound cognizance
what most often gets lost
in the crowded sounds
of life.

We listened – until,

the voice of a child,
caught up in his own moment,
broke the silence,
provoking a, “sssshhhhh” from his mother,
while others scowled,
convincing him to sit quietly
beside his deafening confusion.
Crying silently, he fit
right in.

The moment – lost.

~ smj

“No music, no pomp, just images and silence….

December 24, 2010

Merry Stressmas and “The True Meaning of Christmas”…

Merry Stressmas to all…  and to all a good weekend & year!  Things are going full speed ahead around here…  gearing up towards the big night tonight, and tomorrow.  I am *almost* ready…  but, still lots to do today.

I have been feeling very reflective lately.  I keep comparing where I am this year, to where I was last year…  or 2 years ago…  or 5 years ago… 10… 20…  etc…  Wish I had some down time to write more now, but, no time today.  I’m sorta looking forward to Sunday… and definitely looking forward to next week when I took off time from work.  Hopefully I’ll have time to catch up more and write more then.  Until “then”, I hope anyone reading this is doing well…   staying warm..  and, that 2011 brings joy and happiness to you!  I’d also like to thank any of my blog friends (you know who you are) for “listening” and your encouragement.  Much appreciated.  =)

And now, I thought I’d re-post something I wrote in a different blog a few years back….   it still applies…. =)

The “True” Meaning of Christmas
December 5, 2007 — samanthamj

The other day, I heard a Christian get very upset about people who say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”. He actually went into a bit of a rant about it, and how he is sure to tell folks back, “No, Merry CHRISTmas!” (in a very sarcastic sneer of a voice), when this happens. After all, that’s what Christmas is about, right? Pissing people off and getting pissed off, that is, right? ?!? Come on! Makes ya afraid to wish people well… they might get themselves in a tizzy over it. Sheesh…

Ya know? Like most kids I loved Christmas as a child. I have fond memories of moments with both my mother and my father – both individually and as a family. We weren’t the model family by any means…  my parents did not get along, at all – but, I only

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