Posts tagged ‘coping’

March 12, 2018

No Poems Today… Just Ramblings.

I wanted to write a poem.  Get out some of these feelings that I know are building up inside of me.  That is what happens when I don’t write for a long time.  And, I should know, because I routinely go through long periods of time, where I let this happen.  I don’t write… I don’t process or deal with things.  And, here I am again.

I looked at some drafts of poems that I had started, and thought they might be a good place to start…  but, it’s been too long.  They no longer make sense to me.  So,  I decided I would write a brand new poem.  But, I just stared at the screen.  It’s been too long, and I don’t know where to start.  So much has been happening in my life.  Problems with my own health, yet again. But, those things don’t seem all that major anymore considering all that is happening around me to those I care about and love. Yet, nothing that I seem to be able to put into a poem.  Nothing that wants to see the light of day,  or that I can use to make something beautiful, or to just try to make any sense.  Not yet.

Which, really, is quite fitting now that I think about it.  Because not much is making sense.  How do you make sense of your 20 year old nephew’s death from an accidental drug over-dose?  You don’t.  How do you help those you love, your brother and your sister-in-law/best friend,  get over the loss of their youngest child, and their only son?  You don’t.  Some things you just can’t get over.  I know this.  So, I’ve been trying my best just to help them cope…  but, I am not even sure how to do that.

I have always been a good empathizer.  Is that a word?  My spell-checker says “no”, but,

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October 7, 2015

Tell Me

Tell me that you understand,
Even though you can’t.
Tell me I can count on you,
Even though I won’t.

Tell me it will all work out,
That it’s getting better every day.
Tell me you don’t want for more,
Even though it’s not okay.

Tell me that you love me so,
And that our love is true
I may not always say it back,
Even so, I do.

~ smj


Strong Enough, by Sheryl Crow 

November 3, 2013

Soul Food

Warm tea laced with honey
attempts to soothe my throat,
mind, and soul.  It’s a lot to ask
from tea and honey, I know.  So,
I’m thinking of baking apple bread.

~smj


Soothe Me, Sam & Dave

April 21, 2010

lie sweetly…

not again not you
can’t take anymore bad news
lie sweetly and smile

just think positive
don’t let them get you down now
lie sweetly and smile

Lord help me get thru
or help them so I’ll need none
hello? are you there?

I didn’t think so
back to smiling and lying
inside I’m dying

enough about me
what can I do to help you?
lie sweetly and smile

~ smj

December 19, 2001

T’was the week before Christmas (2001-12-19)

wrote this in December, 19, 2001…

– I was pregnant with my 2nd son… and I was taking care of my father who lived with me ( and was on hospice care in his final stages).  It was also shortly after the devastation of 9/11.

I originally thought I’d write a funny, rhyming, Christmas poem (thus the title)… But, instead of coming up with something cute and funny – I sorta went off on my own tangent.

It sums up a very, very hard time in my life… where I was torn between the intense sorrow of losing my dad, and the great joy of expecting a new son…

=============
T’was the week before Christmas and here in my house,
Things were different this year. Yes, different, and how.

For starters, the country is still counting it’s losses,
September 11th left a trail of crosses.

So many wounded, in so many ways.
So many pay. So many pray.

And what’s it all for ?
And what will happen from here?

It’s all so uncertain.Yet, some things are  sure –
Our Nation pulled together. United we stand and we will endure.

We long to help out and make things right.
At the end of the tunnel, we see the light.

Along with our losses, we count blessings too.
This Christmas’s colors are red, white and blue.

And yet, on top of all this, this Christmas brings me much more –
A new baby on the way, as death knocks at my father’s door.

So much happiness. So much sadness.
So much to look forward to. So much to miss.

…..And how will I get thru all of this?

And what does this life really mean?
It’s another mystery. Something yet to be seen.

And still, some things, I do know for sure –
I’ll love my child, as my father loved me.

The wheel goes ’round… Carrying life and death.
Bringing hate and love. You get what you give.

Yes, Christmas just isn’t the same this year.
If it’s worse, or better, is not really clear.

While sadness and sorrow seem to be everywhere,
I’ve also never seen, and felt, so much love in the air.

My “wish list” is smaller and simpler this time,
The things that I do want, are hard to define.

I don’t want to waste time buying toys, gifts & games,
Instead I just want to take a stroll down memory lane.

And while I’m strolling, I’d like to see,
A bright shining future for my baby-to-be.

For Christmas, I’m hoping that I can be extra strong,
To help both my unborn child and my father along.

I can’t let either of them down, you see?
They both need my help with their different journeys.

And if it wouldn’t be asking too much,
I’m praying for wisdom, acceptance, and such.

Please help me think positive, and have the ability to see,
That life is good.
That life goes on,
… and so do we.

~smj