Posts tagged ‘dad’

May 18, 2019

firefly nights

IMG_0829fireflies escaping
like sparks flying off the fire
joining stars and you

                       – smj, 5/18/2019

—————

Just a little haiku I wrote for my cousin.  I was thinking of childhood memories of parties at their old house… and, of chasing fireflies.  We would run through the fields at their house in the night… trying not to trip over the dark while following the sporadic flashes.  If we were lucky, we’d manage to catch a few fireflies, and when we did, we would put them in a mason jar with some holes in the lid.  We thought we could use them as a lantern.

We would keep them for a bit, but I never wanted to keep them long.  I was afraid they would die (thanks Dad).  So I’d let them go… sometimes unbeknownst to my cousins while they were busy desperately trying to catch more.  Besides, the flies just were not nearly as beautiful or impressive up-close.  They just looked like…. well… flies (with big glowy butts).   But, with a little added distance?  Oh my. They became magical… mystical…  lighting up in the dark sky if only for a second… here… then there…. then, wait… where?

I still see them in my backyard sometimes.  I don’t try to catch them anymore. My boys are also too old now for that.  I don’t think they were ever as impressed by them as I was anyway.  Am.  I still am.  I still like to watch them flicker on and off, until they are too far away to see and I lose track of them.  They remind me of  the sparks flying off a bonfire… billowing with the smoke up to the stars.  I like to try to follow those as well… watch as they rise up to the heavens…  until they fade into grey ashes that join us once again.  Or until they just mysteriously disappear all together.  Possibly morphing into yet another distant star against the black sky.  Who’s to say?

 

April 11, 2014

Happy Sibling Day ?

siblingsSo, it’s “Siblings Day”? Never heard of it before. I’m sure my brothers will agree that there are way too many new holidays these days. Must be Hallmark trying to improve sales or something. Sheesh. We can barely keep track of the essential ones. Still, all these posts on Facebook about siblings made me reflect on my relationship with my brothers, and I felt like writing about it a bit. Only one of my brothers is on Facebook. Ironically, he’s the one who until fairly recently was pretty computer illiterate, and I figured he always would be. But, that’s one of the things about brothers. They can surprise you. For example, you can go your whole teenage life thinking that a brother hates you, and then you grow up and realize that they actually always did care.

When I was a kid, it seemed I had one big brother who let me hang out with him, and in the process taught me how to do everything I wasn’t supposed to do. Man, we had some fun though. Then, I had my oldest big brother that would get upset with me for doing those things, and tell on me. Because my oldest brother seemed to love to see me get in trouble and to NOT have fun, I assumed he didn’t like me much. Of course, I was wrong. He was just very protective. I realized that the older I became. When it came down to it, both of my brothers were always there for me, and still are. I always knew that. It’s a good feeling.

Growing up, I was always trying to be one of the boys. Except, I never really was. For starters because nobody was allowed to hurt me. My father would allow my brothers to kill each other – but, they were not allowed to hit me. Of course, they still did sometimes, rarely… but, they sure as hell didn’t let anyone else mess with me. My oldest brother was probably the most protective. He claims this is because he was the one to get in trouble if/when any of us got in trouble. I’ll buy that. The only one more scary-protective of me than my oldest brother was my Dad… and Dad could be pretty scary. After-all, he did regularly say things like, “I’ll rip your arm off and beat you over the head with the bloody end of it!”.

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November 27, 2013

Be Here Now

I love this song…   “Be Here Now”, by Ray LaMontagne.  I heard it (again) recently, and when another blogger reminded me of an old poem of mine, Empty Spaces, I realized I never added a song to that one as I often do.  This song seemed perfect, so I added it there.  and also felt like it was very fitting for this grey, winter day as I am heading back out into the cold…
A reminder to just be.

“Don’t let your mind get weary and confused..
your will be still; don’t try.
Don’t let your heart get heavy, child;
inside you there’s a strength that lies.

Don’t let your soul get lonely, child..
it’s only time; it will go by.
Don’t look for love in faces, places —
it’s in you; that’s where you’ll find kindness.

Be here.. be here now.. be here now..
be.. be here now.. be here now…

Don’t lose your faith in me,
and I will try not to lose faith in you.
Don’t put your trust in walls,
’cause walls will only crush you when they fall.

Be…be here now… be here now.
Be…be here now…be here now.

Be Here Now, by Ray LaMontagne

November 8, 2013

Painful Conversations

Lay quiet
Lay still
so the pain doesn’t come.

Don’t breathe
a sound
or an invitation.

Dear Pain,
I’m sorry
but, I think we should break up.
It’s not me,
it’s just you
and, I’ve had more than enough.

Dear Sam,
Nice try,
but, I am going nowhere.
No way.
No how.
Not on wings or a prayer.

Just then
warm winds
whispered words from the past

“Just wait
Hold on
and, this too shall pass.”

~smj


– Details In The Fabric, by Jason Mraz Feat. James Morrison

March 21, 2013

Eyes on the Prize

Bright light hurts my eyes
only momentarily
with my blinders off.

So…

No more looking back
or spinning ’round in circles.
Focus forward now.

– smj

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again (lyrics):

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