Posts tagged ‘growth’

October 2, 2018

Thought Wrong

I thought I was moving on
from my past, from my problems,
from the person I no longer wanted
to be.

I thought I was moving up,
like the Jefferson’s – to the top,
to a deluxe, newly evolved version
of me.

I thought I had moved past
the worst of it.  That I had paid
my dues and was ready to finally
be free.

“Don’t think”, she said.
“You’re not good at it”, she said.

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September 25, 2014

A to Me

specks and energies
teleporting constantly
from point A to me

~smj

Bryan Adams, Here I Am

November 23, 2011

Onion

Layers of me peel
with each passing tear and year
always changing me

and reality
holds fast for just one season,
one life, or death, one

glimpse of clarity
before the moment lapses
revealing new truths

~ smj


“Yours and mine, left and right
there’s still two sides to everyone.
You and I get on with life
and pray we find a better one.
You change and then,

You change again.
Turning like the wheel inside your head.

Overdrive we’re going life or death… “

~ Overdrive, Foo Fighters

December 15, 2010

and yet… more guilt…

In a past life…  (okay, a past blog) I wrote quite frequently about guilt….  and feeling guilty…  often, and usually, for no real good reasons. Well, I’m sure I absolutely DO have a few good reasons…  but, #1) who doesn’t?  then again, what constitutes a “good reason” is also very debatable…  and #2) eventually, I discovered that this “guilt” thing was something that was ingrained in me… taught to me at a very early age.  I was made to feel responsible for not only myself, but all kinds of other things that really shouldn’t have been, and ultimately could not have been, and were NOT my responsibilities…  but, I believed they were.

I then carried that with me into adulthood, and developed a nasty habit of personalizing things.   Which was, of course, my fault.   I’m not trying to just blame my parents

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