Posts tagged ‘healing’

October 2, 2018

Thought Wrong

I thought I was moving on
from my past, from my problems,
from the person I no longer wanted
to be.

I thought I was moving up,
like the Jefferson’s – to the top,
to a deluxe, newly evolved version
of me.

I thought I had moved past
the worst of it.  That I had paid
my dues and was ready to finally
be free.

“Don’t think”, she said.
“You’re not good at it”, she said.

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September 5, 2016

(my) Life Directions

Take two steps forward. 

One step back.  Repeat. Again. 

Smile. The wheel goes ’round.

 

– smj

Keep Breathing ~ Ingrid Michaelson

 

March 20, 2015

lost and found

I’ve lost myself,
and found myself,
more times than I can count.

I’ve lost myself and found myself, more times than I can count.  But, this time is different.  Maybe because the last time,
I was lost, I couldn’t even recognize myself.  At all.  Not really.  To make it worse, others didn’t either.  I saw the way they looked at me.  With pity, worry, sometimes, disbelief.  I understood.  I felt it too. I tried to be strong, and think positive.  I tried to “hang in there”.  Eventually, I started to believe that this might just be as good as it gets. I decided to give up on the “old me”.  I tried to accept the “new me”.  But, it wasn’t working.

I couldn’t quite let go of old hope and dreams, or the the things I use to do and still wanted to be able to do.  I couldn’t accept limitations and all the injustice that seemed to go with it.

 

(This was to be continued…  but then I never did.  Figures.  I did go on to get lost and found again, and again, though.  How typical of me. )

January 2, 2015

Almost Me

Slowly, I’m coming into focus,
I think. One pixel at a time.
I can almost see

All that I once was, elements lost
and found, miraculously, settle in
to what I am now. Leaving room
for hope and whatever I might be.  And,
through squinted eyes, and breath
held tight, I can almost see, almost believe

Slowly, I’m coming into focus,
finally.  One pixel at a time.
I can almost see the me
I want to be.

~ smj

2014-12-31me-dif2

December 28, 2014

Again

how soon we forget
yesterday’s slippery slopes
’til footing gives way

~smj

Same Old Song and Dance, Aerosmith