Can you see the real me?

Soooo…  I recently had a somewhat long-term blogging buddy-of sorts  (who shall remain nameless) suggest to me that I get set up on Facebook… Well, that is a good idea, right?  Should be relatively simple.  Especially since I have used Facebook with my real name (that shall remain nameless for real) for years.  Plus, I have created and maintained Facebook pages for others, so I know a little about this kind of thing – and really, if I have a public blog, why not a Facebook page, right?  Makes perfect sense.  Why didn’t’ I think of that?

decision

 

decision unmade

no easy answer to find

prolong agony

True Love Denied

True love
denied
finds ways
to survive
Grows up
thru the cracks
 of your heart

 Choke it down
Weed it out
Poison it
 with doubt
Bleed it out
of your veins
if you can

Drive it deep
 underground
Frozen
and cold
Nowhere
to be found
Believe
that it’s gone
Loose all hope

You give up
and give in
Know
you can’t win
Just make due
Just get by
Question
Why?
              Why?
Why?
Life goes on
and you try
to forget

Just a matter
of time
til one day
you will find
there Love is
sprouting up
once again

Stop choking
Stop weeding
Stop poisoning
Stop bleeding
Just let it grow
Let it spread
Let it be

True love
never dies
Finds ways
to survive
Grows up
thru the cracks
 of your heart

~~

Regrets Come Easy

regrets come easy
second guessing choices made
acceptance is hard

 acceptance brings peace
to those who can find it, search
high, low and within

where is acceptance?
perhaps hidden underneath
necessary change

Head First

I’m the girl who dives right in – head first
without even bothering to dip a toe to feel
the temperature. Jumping, falling, then splash!
I am consumed whole with one icy bite
of submersion. Slowly I rise to the top
and breathe.  Shock quickly morphs to refreshment
with a chill of contentment, relief washes over me.
The hard part is over.
Time to move on.

Others step carefully, slowly submerging
one body part at a time. Shivering, bracing,
inching, carefully wading. Sweet trepidation?
Malevolent torture! I watch them debating,
deciding how wet they want to get. And you?
You are like them.

I see you looking at me. Circling, testing my waters,
wondering if I’m worth getting your hair wet.
My surface cool, calm, refreshing, but you fear
what lies below or around the bend.  How cold
can I get? How strong is my undertow? How rapid
are my white waters? All things you can not tell
from a mere dip of a toe.

You search for your answers, but only find me
smiling up at you, gliding, floating, moving,
this way and that,  playfully splashing,
as strands of hair swim ’round my head,
each forming a curl that mimics my finger
and beckons you closer, all to convince you,
come, the water is fine.

Head first I go under again, pointed toes
the last thing you see before I disappear
into murky depths below.  I’ll surface
in a moment. You’re almost positive I will.
Won’t I?  Your eyes scan for signs of life, still
you stand with your insecurities, curiously
undecided, on dry land.

And, will you join me? Dive in to me?
Merge in to me? Hold on to me
while we wash blissfully out to sea?
If needed, when needed, will you
reach out to me? Come find me? Rescue me
from the murky depths below?
From the unknown?
From myself?
Will you?

You inch in a little closer to the edge
of me, stepping softly. Testing, pacing,
testing.

It’s okay.
Take your time making up your mind.
But, once decided
please do me this one small favor –

Don’t bother to ever let me drown slowly. No,
simply let me dive head first into your truth
so, I can move on
to mine.

~ smj

Into You, by The Cinematic Orchestra