Posts tagged ‘life’

October 2, 2018

Thought Wrong

I thought I was moving on
from my past, from my problems,
from the person I no longer wanted
to be.

I thought I was moving up,
like the Jefferson’s – to the top,
to a deluxe, newly evolved version
of me.

I thought I had moved past
the worst of it.  That I had paid
my dues and was ready to finally
be free.

“Don’t think”, she said.
“You’re not good at it”, she said.

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September 5, 2016

(my) Life Directions

Take two steps forward. 

One step back.  Repeat. Again. 

Smile. The wheel goes ’round.

 

– smj

Keep Breathing ~ Ingrid Michaelson

 

January 7, 2016

Missing and Reminiscing

*sigh* I miss this. This place, I mean. I miss the poems… reading and writing here. I’ve been writing… Just not here…and not really for me.  Life has been… relentless…  as usual. Not all bad. There’s plenty of good mixed in.  So, I’m not complaining. Well… maybe a little… but that’s not why I’m here.

I am just missing this place again… And this part of me that goes with it. I guess it has been put on the back-burner once again.  Par for the course. I go in spurts, as usual,  and lately I haven’t been reading any poetry, let alone writing any.  Shame. 

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August 7, 2015

bad penny

lost and found, and lost
again. like a bad penny
I keep turning up

~ smj

;)

I have been writing lately, but not poems… and not here.  Instead, it’s been more like work than play.  I miss this place.  Lately, I feel it calling me back.  I’m realizing that it’s often during the busiest times, when I feel like writing poetry is the last thing I have time to do – that is exactly when I also tend to feel like I need it the most.

And, I have been busy.  Busy with work… but more importantly, with family and friends.  Lots of good stuff, on top of just being busy trying to get my life back.  Health-wise, things are going much better… I can walk again without a cane or crutch.  =)   After using one for over 2 years, I can’t tell you how glad I am to be able to say that.  I count my blessings every day, and appreciate everything so much more than before.  I’ve been doing things this last year, that I simply couldn’t do for a while, and it feels damn good.  I feel like I have regained a huge part of my life that I almost thought I’d never see again.  I’m still dealing with some aftermath… I’m still working on things…  I am not where I want to be…  and, truthfully, I’m getting tired of trying to get there.  but, I’m more afraid to give up.  I can’t do that, yet sometimes I am afraid that I will.  It’s that damn “all or nothing” mentality that I still have to fend off…

I guess I need a second wind.  So, here I am…. and even though I’m not saying much… I feel like I am breathing a little better just for logging on here….

Greg Laswell – Comes and Goes

January 2, 2015

Almost Me

Slowly, I’m coming into focus,
I think. One pixel at a time.
I can almost see

All that I once was, elements lost
and found, miraculously, settle in
to what I am now. Leaving room
for hope and whatever I might be.  And,
through squinted eyes, and breath
held tight, I can almost see, almost believe

Slowly, I’m coming into focus,
finally.  One pixel at a time.
I can almost see the me
I want to be.

~ smj

2014-12-31me-dif2