Posts tagged ‘life’

September 5, 2016

(my) Life Directions

Take two steps forward. 

One step back.  Repeat. Again. 

Smile. The wheel goes ’round.

 

– smj

Keep Breathing ~ Ingrid Michaelson

 

January 7, 2016

Missing and Reminiscing

*sigh* I miss this. This place, I mean. I miss the poems… reading and writing here. I’ve been writing… Just not here…and not really for me.  Life has been… relentless…  as usual. Not all bad. There’s plenty of good mixed in.  So, I’m not complaining. Well… maybe a little… but that’s not why I’m here.

I am just missing this place again… And this part of me that goes with it. I guess it has been put on the back-burner once again.  Par for the course. I go in spurts, as usual,  and lately I haven’t been reading any poetry, let alone writing any.  Shame. 

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August 7, 2015

bad penny

lost and found, and lost
again. like a bad penny
I keep turning up

~ smj

;)

I have been writing lately, but not poems… and not here.  Instead, it’s been more like work than play.  I miss this place.  Lately, I feel it calling me back.  I’m realizing that it’s often during the busiest times, when I feel like writing poetry is the last thing I have time to do – that is exactly when I also tend to feel like I need it the most.

And, I have been busy.  Busy with work… but more importantly, with family and friends.  Lots of good stuff, on top of just being busy trying to get my life back.  Health-wise, things are going much better… I can walk again without a cane or crutch.  =)   After using one for over 2 years, I can’t tell you how glad I am to be able to say that.  I count my blessings every day, and appreciate everything so much more than before.  I’ve been doing things this last year, that I simply couldn’t do for a while, and it feels damn good.  I feel like I have regained a huge part of my life that I almost thought I’d never see again.  I’m still dealing with some aftermath… I’m still working on things…  I am not where I want to be…  and, truthfully, I’m getting tired of trying to get there.  but, I’m more afraid to give up.  I can’t do that, yet sometimes I am afraid that I will.  It’s that damn “all or nothing” mentality that I still have to fend off…

I guess I need a second wind.  So, here I am…. and even though I’m not saying much… I feel like I am breathing a little better just for logging on here….

Greg Laswell – Comes and Goes

January 2, 2015

Almost Me

Slowly, I’m coming into focus,
I think. One pixel at a time.
I can almost see

All that I once was, elements lost
and found, miraculously, settle in
to what I am now. Leaving room
for hope and whatever I might be.  And,
through squinted eyes, and breath
held tight, I can almost see, almost believe

Slowly, I’m coming into focus,
finally.  One pixel at a time.
I can almost see the me
I want to be.

~ smj

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December 31, 2014

Happy New Year

I know I haven’t been blogging much lately… but, to whomever may still check in here or sees this – I hope you have a safe and happy New Year’s Eve tonight, and I hope 2015 brings more JOY than pain your way!

2014 was not without its downfalls for me.  Losing my Mom unexpectedly the end of January was the worst. Having major hip surgery right after that in Feb was also not much fun… But, 2014 also came bearing some hefty gifts. Hope. Appreciation. Happiness. Health. I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I am back on my feet again, literally, after over 2.5 years of using a crutch. So yeah, there’s that. All in all, I have SO much to be thankful for… And, I am. Very.

I am so thankful for all my friends and family for all the support and love. Especially my own husband and our boys. They are the heart of my world, and I love them with all my heart. I also don’t know where I’d be without my brothers, my extended family (on both sides) and my closest friends. I seriously have some of THE best people in my corner.  Then there are all my online friends, and distant friends and relatives that may be far away, but were always there for me when I needed them nonetheless. Including some of you. Thank you. Honestly.

Now, I am looking forward to 2015. This will be the first year in a few years that I am NOT gearing up for any surgery (YAY!!). My oldest son will be graduating high-school and starting the next chapter of his life (Exciting!) We have a vacation planned this summer with family and friends (Can’t wait!). And whatever else life throws at us. I hope to be able to write more poetry and blog more in the process. =)

BRING IT ON 2015!!

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