Posts tagged ‘lost and found’

August 7, 2015

bad penny

lost and found, and lost
again. like a bad penny
I keep turning up

~ smj

;)

I have been writing lately, but not poems… and not here.  Instead, it’s been more like work than play.  I miss this place.  Lately, I feel it calling me back.  I’m realizing that it’s often during the busiest times, when I feel like writing poetry is the last thing I have time to do – that is exactly when I also tend to feel like I need it the most.

And, I have been busy.  Busy with work… but more importantly, with family and friends.  Lots of good stuff, on top of just being busy trying to get my life back.  Health-wise, things are going much better… I can walk again without a cane or crutch.  =)   After using one for over 2 years, I can’t tell you how glad I am to be able to say that.  I count my blessings every day, and appreciate everything so much more than before.  I’ve been doing things this last year, that I simply couldn’t do for a while, and it feels damn good.  I feel like I have regained a huge part of my life that I almost thought I’d never see again.  I’m still dealing with some aftermath… I’m still working on things…  I am not where I want to be…  and, truthfully, I’m getting tired of trying to get there.  but, I’m more afraid to give up.  I can’t do that, yet sometimes I am afraid that I will.  It’s that damn “all or nothing” mentality that I still have to fend off…

I guess I need a second wind.  So, here I am…. and even though I’m not saying much… I feel like I am breathing a little better just for logging on here….

Greg Laswell – Comes and Goes

March 20, 2015

lost and found

I’ve lost myself,
and found myself,
more times than I can count.

I’ve lost myself and found myself, more times than I can count.  But, this time is different.  Maybe because the last time,
I was lost, I couldn’t even recognize myself.  At all.  Not really.  To make it worse, others didn’t either.  I saw the way they looked at me.  With pity, worry, sometimes, disbelief.  I understood.  I felt it too. I tried to be strong, and think positive.  I tried to “hang in there”.  Eventually, I started to believe that this might just be as good as it gets. I decided to give up on the “old me”.  I tried to accept the “new me”.  But, it wasn’t working.

I couldn’t quite let go of old hope and dreams, or the the things I use to do and still wanted to be able to do.  I couldn’t accept limitations and all the injustice that seemed to go with it.

 

(This was to be continued…  but then I never did.  Figures.  I did go on to get lost and found again, and again, though.  How typical of me. )