Posts tagged ‘trapped’

January 8, 2016

Looking Up

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wandering thoughts caught
frozen in shades of gray, still
she was looking up

~smj

Blackbird, Paul McCartney & Wings

July 31, 2012

Bees. Why did it have to be bees?

Bees. Great. Now, there’s bees in my new temporary office.   I don’t know how they are getting in and they clearly do not know how to get out. They go towards the light of my window and beat their buzzing little heads against it relentlessly until they collapse and join the other dead bee-bodies on the window sill. How horrific it must be for them. Seeing freedom, but not quite able to reach it, while below all they see is the carcasses of their friends.  If only they had the capacity to grasp the concept of invisible glass walls.  Then, they could take the time to find a way out… but they don’t get it.  Poor little bastards.  They just keep buzzing, and banging their heads, and dropping dead.

I wonder if it’s their little wings or their little hearts that give out first? It must be their wings, actually, because they wind up crawling around for a while before they finally curl up and join their brethren in defeat.  I wonder if their queen misses them? I wonder if they start blaming the bee they followed in there, or if they curse their own stupidity for venturing into unknown territory?  I wonder if in their last hours they beat themselves up internally so badly that their little egos wind up as bruised and battered as their little heads.  Do bees have egos?  Somehow, I doubt it – but then again that may just be my own, much larger, ego speaking.

I wish I could open the window for them and let them out. I would if I could, but,

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August 5, 2011

Peace Out

Can’t see the night
through reflective windows.
Can’t feel the rain
through the floors overhead.
Can’t hear my own thoughts
over that damn florescent lightbulb.
Yeah, its buzzing
might just
kill me yet.

But, I know it’s dark out
I can feel it creeping in,
and I know it’s been raining
yeah, I feel it seeping in
and I think I heard a thought
leaking right out of my head
through windows and floors
it made its escape.
Felt no remorse
when bulb’s buzz
went dead

Peace out.

~smj

 Grey Room, by Damien Rice

December 1, 1982

Stress

All tangled up

In a huge mass of wire

It cuts into my life

The pain burns like fire.

I try to get out

I twist

and I turn

But the wire cuts deeper

And makes my gut churn.

Wound up so tight

There’s no way to escape

It scratches my brain

Until my mind breaks.

 

~smj

 

 

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 actually wrote this poem when I was a teen…  I remember how it bothered me when I wrote it. I didn’t really like it – but, it hit home regardless. I wanted to share it back then, but was afraid people would think I was losing my mind. I remember I wrote it on a desk in school… without my name. People made graffiti comments back to the same effect – either very negatively, or that they could relate. In spite of the negative feedback on that desk, I remember feeling relieved that I wasn’t the only one who felt like that sometimes. So, I was glad I shared it anonymously on that desk. I thought I would share it again now… and see what graffiti it might draw…