Nothing to see here folks…

So far… so good. I said I’d start writing again, and I’m managing to do just that. It’s been, what? Three days? Four? Oh shit! It’s been SIX whole days! Yeah, baby. Look at me go! Lol :)

Ok, I guess I should not start bragging six days in. LOL Especially when I’m just rambling and posting gibberish. Besides, I know that it’s always easy when I first start back at it.

This time does feel different, though. At least a little. I mean some things never change. I start reading through old posts…. old friends blogs… and I realize just how… repetitive so much of my writing seems… so much of my ramblings. Same old struggles with certain things… certain insecurities… certain long-lived issues. Doesn’t help when I find drafts to poems that I started writing YEARS ago, and get inspired to work on them rather than coming up with new material. Eh? That’s life, I guess. You can take the girl out of the blog, but can’t take the blah out of the girl…
Or something like that. ;)

Tell Me

Tell me that you understand,
Even though you can’t.
Tell me I can count on you,
Even though I won’t.

Tell me it will all work out,
That it’s getting better every day.
Tell me you don’t want for more,
Even though it’s not okay.

Tell me that you love me so,
And that our love is true
I may not always say it back,
Even so, I do.

~ smj

Strong Enough, by Sheryl Crow 

Almost Me

Slowly, I’m coming into focus,
I think. One pixel at a time.
I can almost see

All that I once was, elements lost
and found, miraculously, settle in
to what I am now. Leaving room
for hope and whatever I might be.  And,
through squinted eyes, and breath
held tight, I can almost see, almost believe

Slowly, I’m coming into focus,
finally.  One pixel at a time.
I can almost see the me
I want to be.

~ smj

Fortunate Ones

How fortunate are black bears that retreat
at the first scent and flake of winter’s light
into dark havens far from frigid’s white.
Bellies full, they breathe sustaining heat

and rise and fall into sweet slumbered bliss.
Unscathed from descending deprivation,
unconsciously content in their sedation,
the unknown is quite impossible to miss.

But, what if fortune crooked its fickle head
exchanging bear’s superficial gifts of sleep
for the restless fate the clever vixen keeps?
If virgin eyes witnessed icy glistening beds,

before a myriad of  soulful seasoned riches missed, what then?
Would the fortunate ones feel fortunate to ever sleep again?

~ smj
revised 5-2013
original 11-2011 (below)

“I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
don’t let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life
Wake me up inside, wake me up inside
call my name and save me from the dark
bid my blood to run, before I come undone
save me from the nothing I’ve become”

Bring me to life, Evanescence

—————————–

original 11-16-2011:

Where Love Still Remains

Some things, they say,
like certain favorite dishes,
are better after you let them stew,
and rest, bringing on deeper flavors to enjoy.

Sometimes, I’ve found,
it takes time, and a willingness
to try again, and again.  A strong desire
to not only not give up, but to also make things better.

Some people, I know,
like you, my love, are able to change
themselves, and other people’s minds,
like mine.  Surprisingly, against all odds, they move past
the past, to a new place where love still remains, and grows.

~ smj

To my honey… 
I’m glad you’re still the one…

Shania Twain – Still the One